I made a guest appearance at Kababayan LA to talk about this last week since I think it is critically important that parents of both the child bullying and the child being bullied are informed. The girls’ arrest in Florida and the unprecedented felony charges against two girls accused of harassing a classmate so much that she jumped to her death may mark a turning point in U.S. criminal prosecution.
Grady Judd, the sheriff of Polk County, said in an interview that his department had not yet completed its investigation when it decided to arrest the minors, since the older girl continued to post messages about the victim, even after her death. “Obviously, this had progressed from bullying to stalking. It is repeated term of harassment that causes emotional distress.”
Even before the arrests, Florida had become a national maverick in 2004 when it passed a major cyber bullying amendment to its criminal code, a law that spurred other states to follow. States across the nation have a mix of strong and weak laws, Texas, Wyoming, and Florida are generally “conservative” states but have strong laws in this area. States like Massachusetts, New Jersey, and Maryland have equally strong criminal laws in this area. While California, Mississippi, Minnesota, and Nevada have generally weak laws.
Governor Brown in 2011 signed a cyber-bullying law that allowed schools for the first time to suspend students for bullying classmates on social networking sites.
There is overwhelming support to strengthen and heighten prosecution of minors of cyber bullying. As Sheriff Judd, stated, “In 41 years I have worked at the Sheriff’s Office, this has been the most interest we have ever had in a story.”
Bullycide refers to cyber bullying that leads to suicide. Children and teens who are bullied live in a constant state of fear and confusion in their lives. Many feel the only way to escape rumors, insults, verbal abuse, and terror is to take their own lives. It is important to realize that the big, mean kid on the playground is not the only type of bully anymore. There are many types of bullies from boys, girls, and teens of all ages to adults, in authority positions.
Cyber-bullying also makes it easier for children and teens to bully one another. If your child is being bullied, one of the best ways to prevent bullying is to have your child document (write a journal), of what occurred, who was involved, where it happened, injuries, take photos of injuries, copy the Facebook or Twitter threat or insult. As I always indicate to victims of crimes, “document, document, document.” By that I mean, the police, prosecutors and you, will have a detailed itemization of the occurrence(s) so if your memory fails, you have something to refresh your recollection with (which will be critical if it goes to court).
Bullying, hate crimes, sex crimes are crimes and as such, if your child is the recipient, go to the principal, teacher, school officials (this includes school board—you elect them). So make “noise” for your child’s sake. Concurrently, go to the police to have a police report so there is a record of a crime that took place. Get an emergency protective order from the police. Get a restraining order from the court—contact a lawyer to assist you in this.
The critical step is to be involved in your child’s life. Do not allow your child to become a victim of bullying by encouraging them to talk to you—welcome them. Sometimes, we think it is best for them to “tough it out” but this is a dangerous advice. One out of ten children report bullying to their parents, one out of four go to the police, the crime of cyber-bullying has been experienced by at least 50% of teens, and it is a crime rising amongst girls.
As for the parents of the bullies, beware, there is a growing interest to review whether charges like contributing to the delinquency of the minor is possible. The best way to prevent your child from being the victim is to be involved in their life and know their friends. Having a strong support group is the most effective way to combat bullies. I welcome your inquiries or feedback, simply email me at [email protected] or go to my website, attycastaneda.com.